meeting death as a friend

As a death doula I am available to support and empower others to face, accept, befriend, and tend to their own death and dying processes as they inevitably arise.

I am an advocate for the actively dying person (and their support team as needed) in regards to practical considerations of their wishes for medical & palliative care, their wishes for burial and funeral arrangements, navigating emotional and spiritual questions, tending to grief, making meaning of life & death, and more.

Choosing to prepare thoughtfully for our own Death (and the deaths we will encounter along the way) can profoundly clarify our priorities and deeply enrich our experience of Living. Our family, friends and communities also greatly benefit from our having done this work of preparation.

Because death can come in many forms, I also provide support and guidance in navigating the deaths of relationships, changes in self & identity, ecological losses, and beyond.

why death work?

You may wonder why I’ve chosen to work in death care. It is not something I planned — though in some ways I am continuing a lifelong journey with death and grief, having experienced significant losses in my life beginning as a teenager.

From 2020-2022 I was studying religion and ritual in an interfaith ministry class. We had several units on the nuances of supporting others through death, which were the most rich and enlivening aspects of the class for me. I felt incredibly moved at the prospect of being able to be present with, and of service to others as they cross this profound threshold.

After completing the program I knew that my next step was to learn more about this work — I enrolled in Alua Arthur’s Going with Grace doula training which I completed in June 2022. Doing this training required me to face my own impermanence, my own fears and hopes, and evaluate whether I was truly living a “life worth dying for” (Alua’s words). Choosing to work with death has me feeling present in my life in new and unfolding ways.

Death has so much to teach us. I am learning that by cultivating healthy relationships with Death, we can reclaim our place in wild systems of change — a deep, ancient belonging that I believe many of us are longing for.

I feel humbled and honored to be part of the long lineage and rich network of those who have done this work before me, those who will do it after me, and those that are with me now. 

offerings

END OF LIFE PREPARATIONS
Guidance through End of Life / Advance Planning can include:

• Clarifying wishes for medical & palliative care and completing a Living Will
• Clarifying wishes for burial and funeral/memorial service
• Clarifying wishes for Last Will & Testament, choosing caregivers for dependents, preparing accounts 
• Decluttering and clearing out unnecessary belongings
  (See: Swedish Death Cleaning, Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up) 
• Preparing for the end of life through Life Review and Legacy projects
• Spiritual and ceremonial support to honor what is loved and lost in any stage of the process

THRESHOLD SUPPORT
Being with the dying process can include:

• Sitting vigil
• Providing caregiver relief 
• Advocating for and carrying out the dying person’s wishes re: how they want to be cared for

AFTER DEATH CARE
Support after a death can include:
 
• Washing, dressing, preparing the body 
• Burial coordination assistance 
• Traditional Funeral & ceremonial guidance / facilitation 
• Home funeral planning and assistance
• Bereavement and grief support

COMMUNITY EDUCATION
Creative community education regarding death can include:
 
• Workshops, presentations, and events re: preparing for death practically & spiritually
• Impermanence Parties (celebrating birth, death, and inbetween!)
• Guided Death & Dying Meditations
• Community art projects and art therapy re: death & dying

INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE?

"If all of us would make an all-out effort to contemplate our own death, to deal with our anxieties surrounding the concept of our death, and to help others familiarize themselves with these thoughts, perhaps there could be less destructiveness around us."

ELIZABETH KUBLER-ROSS